Dangerous Anarchists on the Loose

Thursday 9th December 2011.

Well, they're out there on the streets again. The UCU advises that members in proximity to this new threat should adopt the bracing position (you know, the one that they tell you about when you take a plane: head between the knees, hands over the ears, suspension of disbelief engaged, that sort of thing). As reported by The Graudniad just now, dangerous anarchists from Sheffield schools are causing havoc on the streets of London. A so-called parent writes:

My 16-year daughter phoned a few minutes ago - she is kettled (aka detained) in Parliament Square, with a big group of school students from King Edwards school in Sheffield, amongst many others.

They're in good spirits but say the police are being very aggressive. I feel it's outrageous that peaceable school-kids legitimately protesting are being detained in this way.

We say: Hah! We've all had the experience of walking past King Edwards and seeing those ruffians lounging around, flauting their adolescence, sneering at passers by, and wantonly eating sandwiches -- haven't we? And to think that those poor London police now have to withstand an onslaught from those savage slips of boys and girls, ducking and weaving, spouting abuse in their filthy Northern accents, listening incessantly to their iPods and androids.

Clearly the ConDemns need to get tough on this new menace. It is nowhere near enough that our democratically elected turncoats (sorry, representatives) are set to deprive the young of their chances of a decent education (after all, why should they do better than all those pensionners who are set for the chop?). No, we need to take a page out of Willy Whitelaw's book, and administer a Short Sharp Shock. Sheffield UCU will be writing to the Relevant Authorities and recommending that these young scoundrels be extradited to the US with stickers placed over the names on their passports saying "Sohail" or "Fatima", and their occupations given as "WikiLeaks editorial board". That'll learn them.

Oh, and we'll be posting the address for donations to the Metropolitan Police Benevolent Association. Watch this space.